What Do You Actually Want?

WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY WANT? Desire, Boundaries & Connection — A Practical Workshop Sounds like a simple question, doesn't it? But how often do we stop to think about what feels right for us before considering what everyone else wants? Join us for a practical, playful afternoon exploring how we recognise our own yeses, nos and maybes, communicate what we'd like and connect more openly with the people around us. Through guided individual, paired and group exercises, you'll get to practise these skills rather than just talk about them. And they're useful everywhere - in relationships, dating, friendships and everyday life. Come solo, with a friend or with your partner. The workshop is beginner-friendly, fully clothed and you choose how you participate. What we’ll explore During the workshop, Velvet will guide you through practical exercises around: • noticing how yes, no, maybe and not yet feel for you • understanding boundaries through the body, not just intellectually • asking for what you want • communicating preferences and limits • giving and receiving • hearing someone else’s yes or no without pressure • noticing when you are making a choice versus following an automatic habit • becoming more present with yourself and the person in front of you • creating connection without needing to perform The workshop includes discussion, reflection and guided individual, paired and group exercises. You will never be expected to share personal information with the group or disclose anything you would prefer to keep private. Why come? A lot of us are surprisingly good at adapting to other people. We notice what they want, read the room and work out what will keep things comfortable. What we are not always as good at is stopping long enough to ask: What do I want here? That does not mean becoming selfish or ignoring other people. Quite the opposite. The clearer you are about yourself, the easier it becomes to meet another person honestly rather than guessing, pleasing or quietly hoping they understand. You may leave with a clearer sense of your own boundaries, more confidence asking for what you want, practical language for consent and negotiation and a better understanding of how your body responds when something feels like a yes, a no or somewhere in between. Those skills can support desire and intimacy, but they are just as relevant to relationships, work, dating, friendships and everyday communication. Attending solo or with a partner You are welcome to attend alone, with a friend or with a partner. No pre-arranged partner is needed, and many people will attend solo. For paired practices, Velvet will guide the group through a simple process of moving around the room and meeting the person in front of them. Partners will change throughout the workshop, so there is no need to find or secure someone to work with. If you attend with a partner, you can choose to stay together for the practices or explore working with different people. Both options are welcome. You will never be required to work with someone or take part in a practice that does not feel right for you. You can also adapt an exercise, observe or sit it out. What happens during the workshop? The afternoon will include: • A welcome and group agreements • An introduction to embodied consent and boundaries • Individual reflection and body-awareness practices • Guided communication exercises • Optional paired and small-group practices • Opportunities to explore asking, giving, receiving and choosing • Group discussion and integration The practices may involve conversation, movement, eye contact, proximity or optional touch. Velvet will explain each exercise before it begins, including what is involved and how you can modify it, opt out or participate in a different way. Will there be touch? Some exercises may include optional, negotiated touch. Any touch will take place within the clear boundaries established for the exercise and between the people involved. You decide whether and where touch is included for you and who you work with. The workshop is clothed. The focus is on awareness, communication, choice and connection. Consent and participation Everything in the workshop is invitational. You will never be required to: • Touch another person • Receive touch • Share personal experiences • Explain a boundary • Complete every exercise Consent is ongoing and reversible. You can say yes, no, maybe, not yet or stop. You can change your mind at any point, including after an exercise has begun. Watching, adapting a practice or stepping out are all valid forms of participation. Meet your facilitator Velvet Lilith Velvet Lilith is a somatic sexologist, sex coach and educator who helps people better understand themselves, communicate their wants and boundaries, and build more honest connections. Her approach is practical, body-based and grounded in curiosity. Through guided exercises and conversation, she creates opportunities to explore how we make choices, communicate with others and become more aware of what feels right for us. About the venue The workshop will take place at The Breath Bar, a warm and welcoming studio in central Geelong. The Breath Bar Level 1, 138A Malop Street Geelong VIC 3220 The venue is located upstairs and is not wheelchair accessible. The workshop includes periods of sitting, standing, moving around the room and working on floor mats. Please contact Love & Play before booking if you have mobility limitations or other accessibility requirements. Detailed arrival information will be sent to ticket holders before the event. What to wear Wear clean, comfortable clothing that allows you to move, sit and lie down easily. Suitable options include: • Comfortable trousers or leggings • A soft top or T-shirt • Layers you can add or remove • Warm socks What to bring Please bring: • A water bottle • A notebook and a pen Privacy, phones, alcohol and drugs This is an alcohol- and drug-free event. Do not attend while affected by alcohol, recreational drugs or any substance that significantly affects your judgement, communication or awareness. No photographs, videos or recordings are permitted during the workshop. Phones and recording devices must be switched off and put away before the session begins. You may speak about your own experience afterwards, but please protect the identities and privacy of other participants. Arrival and timing Please arrive between 11:15 am and 11:30 am. Doors close at 11:30 am. The opening section includes essential group agreements and consent information. Late arrivals cannot be admitted once the workshop has begun. Event details Date: Saturday 31 October 2026 Time: 11:30 am–3:30 pm Arrival: 11:15 am–11:30 am Venue: The Breath Bar, Level 1, 138A Malop Street, Geelong Experience required: None Attend: Solo, with friends or with a partner or partners Accessibility: The upstairs venue is not wheelchair accessible Alcohol and drugs: This is an alcohol- and drug-free event Tickets, refunds and transfers Tickets are non-refundable. When you can no longer attend, you may transfer your ticket to another person or request to transfer its value to a later eligible Love & Play event, subject to availability and the applicable transfer conditions. Transfer requests must be received before the event begins. Tickets cannot be refunded or transferred if you arrive too late to be admitted or do not attend. If Love & Play cancels or reschedules the event, ticket holders will be contacted directly with the available options. Questions before booking? You are welcome to contact Love & Play at [email protected] if you have questions about the practices, touch, consent, attending alone, working only with your partner, accessibility or anything else that may affect your participation. Come as you are, stay curious and choose what feels right for you.